Lifestyle & Kink Terminology

 

For some of the more seasoned Lifestyler’s reading this - these terms are probably old news.  But to a lot of new couples interested in exploring themselves, even talking to other couples can be intimidating when you don’t know what they are saying or asking!  I compiled a list below of the more common ones I hear.  Remember we were all new at this at some point – even me!

  • 420:  Code word used by marijuana smokers to let other couples or singles know they are smokers.

 

  • Bareback:  Intercourse without using a condom.

 

  • Bi-comfortable:  Someone who has had some experience with someone of the same sex (light fondling, kissing, etc.) and realized that while they are comfortable with it they really prefer to play with people of the opposite sex.

 

  • Bi-curious: Someone interested in exploring their bisexuality.  Usually this person has had little to no experience exploring with someone of the same sex.

 

  • Bi-sexual:  Someone who takes pleasure in sexual play with people of both genders. i.e. ME!

  • D&D Free:  Drug and disease free.  Some people do not label marijuana as drugs and some do.  If it is a problem or health concern to you, be sure ask.  You are allowed to communicate!

 

  • Dogging:  I actually did not know this one!  So this is what I could put together!  This usually takes place in parking lots, where couples and singles meet up to have sex in their cars.  Depending on the group, some will swap partners, some singles will be there looking for couples or other singles and some will just be exhibitionist and want others to watch.

 

  • DP:  An abbreviation used for double penetration.  This means a women has two guys at once; one anally and one vaginally.

 

  • Drama free:  A term used to suggest a couple or single that is comfortable in The Lifestyle and with their sexuality.  Typically, they are free of jealousy and bickering leading to less awkward moments and a sexy fun night!

  • Drama:  A term sometimes used by couples of The Lifestyle to describe a couple or single who was not/is not ready to be in The Lifestyle.  This is often labelled with jealousy and fighting when out at events with others in The Lifestyle.  This can be to lack of communication surrounding boundaries, trust issues or countless other things.  This is why it is important to TALK!

 

  • Fetish:  A powerful sexual erotic urge to a particular thing/action/event.  For instance, there are some people who are turned on by a body part (e.g. lips), while others are tuned on by the thoughts of a gangbang.

 

  • Full Swap: When a couple is engaging in sexual pleasure with another couple and willing to swap partners sexually, this includes penetration.  It can also been known as wife swapping, although I am not a big fan of that term.

 

  • Gangbangs:  A fetish that involves a women having sex with multiple male partners at the same time. The woman is the center of attraction and usually plays a submissive role.

  • Group Sex:  When multiple people partake in having sex at the same time.  Also called an Orgy.

 

  • Hall Pass:  When a couples allows each other to engage in sexual experiences without the other present.  This could mean the couple is willing to set up one on one sexual dates with other singles.

 

  • HWP:  An acronym for height, weight proportionate.

 

  • Meet & Greet:  A social get-together of couples in The Lifestyle at an off-premise location.  Couples can then meet others who are exploring their sexuality as well.

 

  • Naturist:  Someone who is a nudist and usually not a part of The Lifestyle.

 

  • No:  This means "NO".  Don’t be afraid to use this word if you are uncomfortable or unsure of a situation.  Also, don’t take it personally if someone says this to you!

     

  • On-Premise/Off-Premise:  Open way of disclosing whether sexual activity is permitted at the facility. On–premise clubs mean there areas where people can play, off-premise clubs do not offer this.

 

  • Orgies:  When multiple people partake in having sex at the same time. Also called Group Sex.

 

  • Play:  To engage in sexual activity.  I think it’s a nicer and more classy way of saying lets’ fuck, suck my dick or eat me out!  If you are asked to “play”, it means a couple (or someone) is interested in doing more than a card game ;)

  • Same Room or Separate Room Play: Same Room is when a couple is comfortable with swapping partners but only in the same room. Separate Room is when a couple wants to swap partners and be in separate rooms while having sex with that other couples partner.

 

  • Soft Swap: The easiest way to define this is that there is no penetration outside of one’s own partner. This means that vaginal / anal sex with another’s partner is normally not allowed.

 

  • Takeover:  Involves a group of lifestylers collaborating and paying to secure 100% of a facility for a swinger party or event.  We need to experience this still!

 

  • The Lifestyle (LS): Ahh but how to describe this one!  Personally, we see this as whatever you as a couple decides on what works for your relationship.  This usually involves some sort of engagement with other people or couples whether it is full swap, hall passes etc., but in the end it is the Lifestyle that works for both of you.  This can be revised and changed as your relationship grows and as you grow together.  Really there is no right or wrong way of doing it as long as you are living your life free of inhibitions and repression and enjoying time with others who share the same outlook like you do.

 

  • ThreeSome(3-some):  This is usually a couple looking to bring in a third (male or female) for some play-time.

  • Unicorn: A single women who is part of the Lifestyle and enjoys having sex with couples.  A rare find hence the name!

 

  • Vanilla / Muggle: People who do not involve kink in their lives.  Also couples or singles not involved in The Lifestyle.

 

  • Voyeur:  Someone who prefers to watch. For some couples, the husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend are voyeurs and enjoy watching the other playing.  For some couples both are voyeurs and in other occasions some are exhibitionists!

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