Lifestyle Lessons 101
So many problems that manifest in the LS stem from lack of communication. From the women I have talked to, this was the main issue – a lack of talking. This inspired me to discuss with James the issues we faced in the LS and what we did to make things work for us. For now, we will start with three but I am sure the list will grow as we do!
Do NOT try to “surprise” your wife, girlfriend, etc. into The LS. Seriously I see this quite often and it still shocks me. If you are interested in The LS then do some research first. Once you get a feel for what it is actually about then talk to her or him. If you feel uncomfortable doing this then you have communication issues and you need to sort that our first. Talking about sex as a couple should be natural and comfortable. Once you talk about it, share the good research and information you found yourself. In many cases surprises are not sexy!
Discuss rules and boundaries. This involves doing some research together to find out what could happen and talking about if you would be ok with it happening. Rules are typically not flexible and not meant to be broken. Boundaries are more situational and allow more flexibility with additional communication between the couple or all parties involved. If you don’t know where to start, then start by talking about what you do not want happening. Sometimes taking that route helps to open up the communication doors for exploring this topic.
Create a joint e-mail together. This way you both have access to see what is going on when communicating with other couples. On top of that, you now have an e-mail address that you can use to sign up on adult sites together (i.e. Adult Friend Finder, Kasidie, etc.).