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Lifestyle & Kink Terminology

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Lifestyle Lessons 109:

3 Essential Tips for the First Time Swinger

Being a swinger has never been easier. With so many free dating sites out there, hooking up can be as simple as exchanging a few dirty texts and picking a place to meet.


But that doesn’t mean you should jump in right away. 


As a first time swinger, you can run into a LOT of problems if you don’t know what you’re doing. We’re here to help.


Learn the basics

Do you know the difference between a full swap and soft swap? What’s the right way to approach a unicorn (or to even look for one in the first place)? What should you bring to a swinger club? How do you politely move on from someone once you lose interest? These are just some of the things you should learn before setting foot at a swinger event, for you AND anyone you play with. 


While swinging is in many ways about sexual freedom, it is also about respect and setting boundaries. You can’t make assumptions about anyone you play with and vice versa. That goes for your partner(s) too. As you navigate this new world together, you’ll learn that swinging is an exercise in trust. You may get jealous at times or realize you’re not okay with certain things. Keeping your relationship intact means frequent communication and checking in with one another to ensure that everyone is comfortable (and having a good time)!


Use the right platform

Plenty of dating apps will promise to get you wet in all the right ways, but few members will actually care to explore with other couples... and bringing it up means you risk getting blocked or worse. The good news is, plenty of swinger dating sites and apps have popped up over the years -- a favorite being


Also called “the world’s friendliest dating site,” SwingTowns has millions of members all over the world, welcoming couples and singles of all shapes and sizes. That includes poly throuples, straight and LGBT couples, unicorns, singles, and more! While many dating sites feature fake profiles and “users” who haven’t logged on in years, SwingTowns goes above and beyond to ensure that you’re only seeing authentic profiles while browsing. With heavy monitoring by real people, you can bet that the hotties you’re chatting with are the real deal!


Whether you’re looking for young couples, cougars, daddies, or something else, you’ll find just that at SwingTowns -- and you’ll know exactly where to party with them using the uber sexy swinger event database. It’s simply the #1 place to go for anyone active or interested in the lifestyle. Best of all, it’s free!


Go slow

Swinging really is a world of its own. There’s a lot to understand and navigate, especially if you’re doing it with a partner. Some things can sound great in your head but then play out completely different once you get on top of someone. For example, you might experience some jealousy during your first few encounters that you didn’t think was there. While this doesn’t automatically mean that you’re not cut out for the lifestyle, going slow (and staying close to your partner) is key to finding your rhythm and avoiding getting hurt. 


As you embark on this journey together, you’re sure to enjoy the process of discovering what works for you. This can mean smaller encounters to start (e.g. making out without going any further) or even just going to a swinger event and talking to people. This is actually a common way that couples to introduce themselves to the lifestyle.


Above all, you should remember that swinging, when done right, is done consensually. You should never feel pressured to do things you aren’t ready for and vice versa. 


Go at your own pace, communicate with your partner(s), and have fun

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